Make you own Cola

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Soft Drink Formula
Version 1.1.3
Disclaimer:
Making soft drinks is not for the faint of heart, nor the dirty of finger. It is a solemn enterprise not to be entered into lightly, as with marriage or buying used farm machinery.
With any food-prep, failure to observe basic hygienic principles, follow directions, and exercise common sense can have grave consequences. OpenCola assumes no liability for any problems that arise out of the use of this document. Proceed at your own risk. No one's putting a gun to your head, so don't bother if you can't boil water.
Improper use of cola might result in blunt trauma, puncture wounds, physical illness, mental illness, caffeine dependency, dental necrosis, acid reflux, death, devastation, and random tax audits. Or it might not.
A list of warnings has been provided below. We did not include them for our health – we included them for yours.
Read them. Know them. Follow them. Tattoo them to your backside.
Just in case you have any doubt: following the directions below may be hazardous to your health and property.
You assume any and all risk arising from the manufacture and consumption of cola.
An important note: this is not the recipe for “OpenCola” – that is, the canned beverage from OpenCola that you may have received at a trade show, or other venue or outlet. Making canned cola requires millions of dollars in abstruse gear and manufacturing gizmos. It's easier to make nerve gas than manufacture cola. This is a kitchensink recipe that you can make all on your own. It is our kitchen-sink recipe. We figured it out somewhere between coding the COLA SDK and debugging the Linux build of the clerver.
Anyway, we've tried to be nice about the disclaimer. If it's not good enough for you, here's what our lawyers have to say about the whole shootin' match.
By copying and/or distributing the Program, you hereby agree to the following:
Indemnity: You shall indemnify, defend, and hold harmless OpenCola, its affiliates, directors, officers, and employees from and against any third-party claim, demand, cause of action, debt, liability, cost or expense(including, but not limited to, reasonable attorneys' fees) arising out of your use of the Recipe, or any derivative thereof, including, but not limited to, any claims arising from your distribution of soft drink based on the Recipe or any derivatives thereof.
International: OpenCola makes no representation that the Recipe, or any soft drink based on the Recipe or any derivatives thereof, may be appropriate for use in locations outside of the United States or Canada, and accessing
them from any location where their use is illegal is prohibited. If you choose to access this Recipe from any location outside of the United States or Canada, you do so at your own risk, and are responsible for compliance with all local laws.
License:
OpenCola soda is distributed under the terms of the General Public License (GPL), a copy of which is appended to the bottom of this document. Please check out Richard Stallman's Free Software Foundation. He wrote the GPL and has plenty of interesting documentation on the site.
Version History:
1.1.3
2/20/01
Added sterner caffeine warnings, link to Material Safety Data Sheet – thanks to Tom Swulius. Added contributors
section.
1.1.2
1/31/01
Fixed Amanda's email address
1.1.1
01/30/01
Even more disclaimer, this time to differentiate this recipe from the stuff in the cans.
1.1
01/29/01
Fixed typos. Made disclaimer scarier. Removed snotty references to Americans.
1.0
01/27/01
Original text
Introduction:
Contained hereunder is a HOW-TO for brewing up kitchen-sink OpenCola. Amazingly enough, every soft-drink
vendor we spoke to acted like the preparation of cola was some kind of deep, dark trade-seekrut™ . With much
reverse-engineering and creative shopping, the research kitchens at OpenCola have coopered together the
following makefile for brewing up The Black Waters of Corporate Imperialism™ in the privacy of your own home.
The basis for the whole thing is the 7X, Top-Seekrut™ formula. Our sources tell us that 7X is the internal Coca-
Cola codename for their syrup. You'll note that the 7X formula contains eight ingredients: still more evidence of the
deviousness of the Soda Gnomes.
As it turns out, mixing up a batch of cola's pretty easy. Finding the ingredients is damned hard. Most of this file is
about finding and handling ingredients so as to produce a tasty bevvy without blowing up your kitchen, melting
your flesh off your bones, or poisoning yourself. As with all undertakings of great moment, read and understand the
instructions before attempting to commit cola on your own. Pay special attention to the "Warnings" section.
This recipe is licensed under the GNU General Public license. It is "Open Source" Cola, or, if you prefer, "Free"
Cola. That means you're free to use this recipe to make your own cola, or to make derivative colas. If you distribute
derivative colas, you're expected to send email to the recipe's author, Amanda Foubister (amanda@opencola.com)
with your updates. In the future, we expect to have a CVS server up to handle additions, bug-reports, etc.
The Formula
7X (Top Seekrut™ ) flavoring formula:

• 3.50 ml orange oil
• 1.00 ml lemon oil
• 1.00 ml nutmeg oil
• 1.25 ml cassia oil
• 0.25 ml coriander oil
• 0.25 ml neroli oil
• 2.75 ml lime oil
• 0.25 ml lavender oil
• 10.0 g gum arabic
• 3.00 ml water

OpenCola syrup:

• 2.00 tsp. 7X formula
• 3.50 tsp. 75% phosphoric acid or citric acid
• 2.28 l water
• 2.36 kg plain granulated white table sugar
• 0.50 tsp. caffeine (optional)
• 30.0 ml caramel color

Preparation
7X Flavoring:
Mix oils together in a cup. Add gum arabic, mix with a spoon. Add water and mix well. I used my trusty Braun mixer for this step, mixing for 4-5 minutes. You can also transfer to a blender for this step. Can be kept in a sealed glass jar in the fridge or at room temperature.
Please note that this mixture will separate. The Gum Arabic is essential to this part of the recipe, as you are mixing oil and water.
Syrup:
In a one gallon container (I used the Rubbermaid Servin' Saver Dry Food Keeper, 1.3 US Gal/4.92 l), take 5 mls of the 7X formula, add the 75% phosphoric or citric acid. Add the water, then the sugar. While mixing, add the caffeine, if desired. Make sure the caffeine is completely dissolved. Then add the caramel color. Mix thoroughly.
Cola:
To finish drink, take one part syrup and add 5 parts carbonated water.
Scavenging and Handling Ingredients
7X flavor:
Measurement: I used a dropper purchased at a Shoppers Drug Mart (normally used to measure infant portions of medicine, I believe).
Oils: Oils can cause skin irritation. Wear latex food-prep or surgical gloves. If oils come in contact with skin, wash with soap and water.
I purchased all oils from health food stores and the herbalist store, Thuna's (see notes on gum arabic). Everything could have come from the herbalist's. Try for 100 percent pure, undiluted oils. I used oils from the following companies:
? CK Solutions, Ft. Wayne, IN 46825
? Aura Cacia Oils, Weaverville, CA 96093
? Aromaforce Essential Oils
? Frontier Natural Flavors, www.frontiercoop.com
? Karooch, Peterborough, ONT K9J 7Y8
When I purchased the oils, I specifically asked whether they were food grade or not. All persons said that they were, one person said she used them internally all the time.
Neroli is a very expensive item, be prepared (US$48.52 for 5.00 ml).
All others were a more reasonable price (US$2-9.30).
Gum Arabic: It is very important that you get only food-grade Gum Arabic. There is also an art-grade, which is readily available at art supply stores – never use art-grade Gum Arabic! Art-grade Gum Arabic is toxic. It will make you ill. You'll be sad. We'll be sad.
I found food-grade Gum Arabic at an herbalist store in Toronto called Thuna's (416) 461-8191. I purchased 112g
for US$12.46, which will make more than 11 batches of flavoring formula.
Syrup:
Water: good old tap water will do, if you trust your tap. I used spring water.
75% Phosphoric Acid: Due to its acidity, this product is corrosive to the eyes and skin. Handle with gloved hands,
and use extreme caution. If comes in contact with the eyes or skin, immediately flush with plenty of water for at least 15 minutes. Get medical attention. Rinse any spills on clothing or other surfaces thoroughly. Store in a secure area. Do not store more than 50.0 ml.
Try finding phosphoric acid at a compounding pharmacy in your area. There are pharmacies that still mix their own individual compounds and still stock phosphoric acid.
Citric acid: Very easy to find. I found mine at a Shoppers Drug Mart (Rougier Pharma Inc, Quebec, Canada J7J
1P3). Says right on the label, "For the preparation of acidulous drinks and effervescing draughts, and preservation of jams and jellies." According to the Coke history book, citric acid was used first in the formula, but they now use the phosphoric.
Sugar: Basic granulated white table sugar found everywhere. Buy from a bulk store to save some money.
Caffeine: It's best not to store caffeine in any amount. Caffeine can kill people in relatively small doses. The median lethal dose for an adult human is around 10 grams, or approximately one third of an ounce. You can find out more by reading the Material Safety Data Sheet (MSDS) for caffeine at http://www.jtbaker.com/msds/c0165.htm. Don't yeild to the temptation to create a "Super-Jolt™ ," adding tons and tons of the white stuff to your cola, our you'll be in a world of hurt. If stored, store in a secure area away from
children. Toxic by inhalation and ingestion: If inhaled, remove to fresh air, If ingested, call a physician. Possible teratogen and mutagen. If product comes in contact with the eyes, flush with plenty of water. There is some great information on caffeine and it's over-consumption at http://www.thecaffeinepage.com.
Caffeine is completely optional. I used part of a caffeine pill (MVP, www.mvpnutrition.com), ground up in a pestle with a mortar. According to information on the pill bottle and on the Web site, the pills are 100% caffeine. As an extra safety precaution, I strained all of the syrup through a 4-ply of cheesecloth, in case any of the caffeine wasn't dissolved.
Caramel color: I found mine at a bakery supply store (World of Cake Decorating, 1766 Weston Road, Toronto,
Ontario, Canada 416-247-4935). I was originally told to use double strength caramel color, but couldn't find it
anywhere (retail or wholesale). It really only adds color, so it makes it a bit paler than we are used to coming out of a can or bottle. No other difference that we could discern during our taste-testing.
Cola:
Soda Water: I purchased a soda charger and CO2 cartridges at Nikolaou's (629 Queen Street West, Toronto,
Ontario, Canada 416-504-6411) to deliver the soda charge needed to make the cola fizzy. At testing, no one was
impressed. What worked best was adding canned sodium-free (very important!) soda water to the syrup.
If you would like to make soda water yourself as well, here is a recipe from a great Web site on beverages (http://www.upl.cs.wisc.edu/~craft/bar/section7.html):
Soda: Carbonated Water

• 5 U.S. gallons of water
• 1.5 cups sugar (or sugar syrup)
• 1 teaspoon dry bread yeast (rehydrated)

I fill each bottle 2/3 full, screw on the top, and leave for one or two weeks. Each weekend I measure and add the syrup to a few bottles, top them off with water and stick them in the fridge.
This is a very quick operation. I had experimented with adding dry sugar, but this caused an excessive amount of foaming.
Warnings:
These are all associated with each of their ingredients, but they're repeated here just to make sure. We're not making this stuff up. Cola is a harsh mistress, and she is quick to anger. Heed the warnings below or proceed into certain peril.
Oils: Can cause skin irritation. If oils come in contact with skin, wash with soap and water.
Gum Arabic: It is very important that you get only food-grade Gum Arabic. There is also an art-grade, which is
readily available at art supply stores – never use art-grade Gum Arabic! Art grade Gum Arabic is toxic. It will
make you ill. You'll be sad. We'll be sad.
75% Phosphoric Acid: Due to its acidity, this product is corrosive to the eyes and skin. Handle with gloved hands,
and use extreme caution. If comes in contact with the eyes or skin, immediately flush with plenty of water for at
least 15 minutes. Get medical attention. Rinse any spills on clothing or other surfaces thoroughly. Store in a secure
area. Do not store more than 50.0 ml.
Caffeine: It's best not to store caffeine in any amount. Caffeine can kill people in relatively small doses. The median lethal dose for an adult human is around 10 grams, or approximately one third of an ounce. You can find out more by reading the Material Safety Data Sheet (MSDS) for caffeine at http://www.jtbaker.com/msds/c0165.htm. Don't yield to the temptation to create a “Super-Jolt™ ” adding tons and
tons of the white stuff to you cola, our you'll be in a world of hurt. If stored, store in a secure area away from children. Toxic by inhalation and ingestion: If inhaled, remove to fresh air. If ingested, call a physician. Possible teratogen and mutagen. If product comes in contact with the eyes, flush with plenty of water. There is some great information on caffeine and it's over-consumption at http://www.thecaffeinepage.com.
Thanks, Acknowledgements and Afterward:
The 7X that I experimented with comes from the great Coke history book, For God, Country, & Coca-Cola, by Mark Pendergrast, Basic Books, 1993, 2000, ISBN 0-465-05468-4. I know, I know. I list 8 oils, not 7. It notes in the book
that many believe lavender to be part of the 7X formula, so I tried it. We liked it in testing.
Special thanks to Pharmacist David at the IDA (Queen West near Jameson, Toronto) for advice on phosphoric
acid and chemistry.
Thanks to Barb Holland and Rose Murray from Foodland Ontario for advice on various ingredients and general
soda making.
Contributors:
The following people have contributed refinements to the formula. Thanks to:
Cory Doctorow (cory@opencola.com)
Tom Swulius (swulius@ih2000.net)
GNU GENERAL PUBLIC LICENSE
Version 2, June 1991
Copyright (C) 1989, 1991 Free Software Foundation, Inc.
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Want your videos up fast? Use Quicktime

For just over a year, I've been adding videos to YouTube. My goal was to once-- just once-- get my stuff onto the "Most Recent Videos" page. It seems do-able. I add it, it gets processed and it goes up as one of the most recent pages. Easy huh? Nope. I was cheap and I had a glitch on my computer that barred me from using Adobe Premiere, so all of my videos were created as Windows Media Videos (WMV) via MS MovieMaker. I have come to sad realization that MS Moviemaker is the Paintbrush of the video world. When I uploaded my videos, I tried some experiments and all of my videos took 40-50 minutes to appear available. The "Most Recent" list is stuff made from the first 20 minutes or less, so my stuff never made it.
Eventually, I cleared my glitch with Windows XP that was jamming up Premiere. It was an audio problem-- a dud driver. So, I sprung for a copy of Premiere Elements. It allows you to export movies in one of many formats-- including MWV and MOV formats. I had a short green-screen experiment I wanted to post, so I decided to output it as MOV and WMV. Then prep both and post them both at the same time in different windows.
This is an eight second long video. The MOV file was larger than the WMV file-- 853kb vs. 420kb-- so, bandwidth-wise, the odds of the WMV file getting up first seemed likely.
I hit Submit and Submit. A few seconds later, both were up.
- The MOV file got a screenshot preview window 30 seconds
- The WMV file gave me a screenshot preview in 35 minutes
- The MOV file was generally available within four minutes
- The WMV file took over 55 minutes import and make available on the Youtube site.

So, the lesson: if you want to upload it to Youtube, upload it in Quicktime format.


Quicktime MOV file - 853kb


Windows Media MWV file - 420kb

UPDATE: I am not sure if YouTube wants you to know this. When I uploaded these comparative tests, they continued to appear "Live" but they are not viewable. Go figure.

The Complete Ownage of a Woman

This is a great story from, JE 07, but the Army of Digg attacked and wrecked his site. Please go there for the story and if you cannot, then continue reading.

I’ll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago: I got a vasectomy. I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.

I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.

We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.

Four months into dating, I get the “I’m pregnant” talk. She’s going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married “for the baby”. She’s positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she’s gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.

At this point, I’m just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse “oops” on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can’t think beyond their own uteri.

So I wait a couple of days to “think about all this.” I meet her again. I say I don’t want kids and that she should have an abortion. I know where this is going and sure enough it goes there. She goes completely batsh*t insane on me. There were the usual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it.

Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messages on my phone. She sends awful emails. I’m laughing hysterically.

It was time to drop the hammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who performed the vasectomy. Next I get a notarized copy of the TWO test results indicating a “negative test result for sperm” to show I’m sterile and shooting blanks. Finally, I get a letter from a shark attorney stating he has seen the other documents and is prepared to litigate against this woman if she continues to communicate with me in such an unpleasant manner. Also, the letter states that we will insist on DNA testing to show that the baby is not mine. I’m ready.

I meet with this woman at her place. I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry to show I am willing to reconcile and assume my responsibilities as a new father. I also have stuck in my pocket the documents I have prepared.

She’s all giddy again. Her plan is going perfectly - or so she thinks. We talk about our future. We have some pretty good sex. Then, as I am about to walk out the door, I ask her the $64,000 question. “Are you sure that this baby is mine?”

Well, she goes batsh*t insane again. Hell, she ought to. Her plan could completely unravel if there is ANY question about my paternity. Oh, she’s really screaming now. How dare I question her morals. Do I think she’s a slut. I’m just trying to weasel out of my responsibilities… blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I’m not really mad. I’m kind of embarrassed for her. But since she won’t shut up and the neighbors can hear all of this, I ask her to step back inside and sit down. She sits on the sofa and calms down a bit. She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit she has wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.

I reach into my pocket slowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately.

I tell her simply, “You’re screwed”.

Her look doesn’t change. There is no way she can fathom what I have prepared.

I continue. “I am sterile”

Her look changes just a bit. Something is beginning to sink in. Naturally, she reverts to women’s logic. “You’re full of sh*t. You’re trapped and you know it.”

I hold up the letter and the test results. “Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy. Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test results showing that I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am shooting blanks. That baby inside you is simply not mine.”

This woman is not to be swayed by logic and clear documentation. “Bullsh*t, those are fakes.”

I was ready for that. “No, they are real. This last piece of paper is from my attorney. It’s a simple letter to you that states if you pursue any kind of legal action against me for child support that I will insist on a DNA test to prove paternity, that is, to prove that your baby is not mine.”

I give the woman all the documents. She reads them slowly, deliberately. With each passing second she can feel in her soul that she has made a very bad mistake. With denial swept away, she started to cry. It’s a small cry at first. Then it becomes deeper and more painful. By the time she gets to the letter from the lawyer she is sobbing.

I had no sympathy for her. I turned and walked out the door. Even after I closed the door I could still hear her sobbing.

Epilogue -

I never heard directly from this woman again. I did hear through my friends that she did indeed have the baby. I also heard that the real father was some guy in a band she had met. I assumed that after 30, women stopped going after musicians, bikers, criminals, and thugs. Silly me for thinking the best of American women.

The Moral of the Story -

Get a vasectomy but keep it a secret.

Funny story. My Dad had the same thing happen to him 25 years ago. The irony: he screwed around on my Mom then his second wife screwed around on him.

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